Wednesday, July 1, 2009

JS Doctor - Target Zylon

One Hundred And Fortieth Entry in the YOA Unauthorized Programme Guide Finite Imagination Appendix O'

4D - Target Saigon -

CD Blurb

Trekkies... the true scourge of the universe.

In the 24th century, a great war between the Star Trek Fan Club of the Milky Way and the Saigon Palace II restaurant chain is about to be decided. In fact, the great war is about to end as well. Just in case the 'decision' stuff was a bit confusing.

But on whose side will the Doctor and Mark cast their lots? I mean, which side will they take? The lots thing is a bit old-fashioned nowadays, in the 24th century?! Get real! No one will know what 'cast their lots' mean! Why did I even type that? Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. Basically, Dr Who and Comdander Tryhard may find themselves on the opposite side of humanity. Or was it "the side opposite of humanity?" Or "opposing sides of humanity"? I'm totally confused.

Ripples which play havoc with the time stream, a war machine ready to invade, and a weapon of unimagined power all speak of a final battle which will determine the fate of the galaxy for centuries... if the galaxy can survive. No, wait, that's "Star Wars: A New Hope" -- I totally got that mixed up! My bad.

God, I really ought to listen to this thing. How long is it? I'm sure it will all be finished in 24 hours... one way or another...

Plot Summary

Aboard the TARDIS, Mark Tryhard smokes cigarettes and bitterly studies the scanner, musing that he dreamt of the Spicer Quadrant last night - the battle zone between the United Federation of Planets, an insanely intense conglomerate of Star Trek fans, and the Saigon Palace II restaurant chain, a franchise run by a hideous race of parasitic insectoid carnivores that drool unspeakable slobber.

Dara assumes Mark is talking crap as part of his obvious midlife crisis, flicks her hair and notes how she looks incredibly hot even when bored out of her skull stuck in a broken time machine with two weirdo freaks.

The Doctor distracts Dara by shining a torch on the wall and making her chase the light beam, while he checks the console and discovers that by a staggering coincidence likely indicative of a massive disturbance in the fabric of reality itself, the TARDIS has fetched up in Spicer Quadrant in Mark's home time of the 24th century!

However, it appears that they are five years into Mark's future and thus he will be presumed long dead and all his friends and family will be alienated and unsympathetic, plus the chances are that the Trekkies lost their war and the human race are just acting as brood-hosts for the insectoid young.

Mark looks at Dara running along the control room walls, sighs, and announces that he is prepared to take his chances.

The TARDIS then picks up a distress signal from the Starbucks café base and Mark realizes that the local business has been attacked by the advancing hoards of cheap MSG-avoiding Saigon takeaways! Not that he particularly cares, but that kind of insightful deduction merits exclamation marks.

The Doctor pilots the time machine to the café and find it deserted, dirty and partially on fire - and someone appears to dumped a bloody human corpse in the cappuccino machine, which improves the taste greatly. However, bar a few Saigon Palace II menu leaflets lying around the place, there is no sign of the surprise attack which surely wiped out everyone.

At that moment, however, the Doctor and Mark dive for cover - Dara has finally found her way out of the TARDIS and is trying to pose erotically with a plasma rifle, but only succeeds in spraying the café with laser bullets.

Finally she runs out of ammo and her fellow time travelers take turns in smacking her around the face for such awesome stupidity and recklessness - which, it is disturbingly implied, was why Dara did it in the first place.

Just then, a squad of Trekkies beam into the café and immediately take the trio prisoner - and the Doctor laughs in their faces since they are all wearing red shirt and thus are both expendable and doomed!

The trio are transported aboard the Star Cruiser, the RW Fassbinder, a fully working copy of the Starship Enterprise run by Rear Admiral Lieutenant General Alexei Sayle. They have come to the café for some bagels and the morning coffee, and instead found three badly-dressed nutters standing beside a police box.

The Trekkies have dark legends about the Doctor and his anti-Trek activities, and immediately release the time travelers after they deny all knowledge about that twit in the scarf.

Sayle conscripts the TARDIS crew to help him locate a missing Star Cruiser - the Werner Herzog - which disappeared one night and hasn't called or written since and the rest of the United Federation of Planets are starting to worry.

The Doctor, having nothing better to do, agrees and they RW Fassbinder recklessly heads into Saigon Territory - helpfully marked on star charts as a blank space with HERE BE QUALITY DIM SIMS AND CERTAIN DEATH! - and discover an entire solar system has been bolted together to form the biggest Chinese Takeaway ever known.

A Saigon combined war-craft-cum-delivery-van simply notices the RW Fassbinder and the Star Cruiser crumbles like the ungainly piece of useless shit it truly is. The Doctor has no sympathy, pointing out that a cheap American prop is not a reasonable design for an interstellar space vehicle, even IF the show the prop was in is the coolest science-fiction concept ever.

"Which it isn't!" the Doctor adds quickly, so all us scarf-wearing, anorak-clad fans can rest easy tonight and sleep the sleep of the just in the knowledge we're not as screwed up like those Trekkies.

As the Doctor loudly tells Dara how the Star Cruiser class of space travel sucks in every way possible, Mark suggests they just hang around the area of the Starbucks café since it saves on sets, model shots, and most importantly imagination.

Since he is clearly more at home debating theories about why 1960s Klingons look like normal humans in greasepaint rather than the more knobbly and impressive specimens of the Next Generation than fighting a space war across the entire civilized galaxy, Sayle agrees with this guy who he's only just met.

There, they spot pretty much every single Saigon Palace II ship is heading for a planet. The Doctor insists they visit it, as it seems to be a really cool and popular place, and thus INTERESTING - unlike the rest of the story so far.

Sayle refuses point blank to leave until backup arrive in the form of the Star Cruisers Franz Osten, Marcus Nispel and Ladislao Vajda so the Doctor flips him the bird and decides to go there in the TARDIS, taking with him Captain Sweetlips McCormick. Dara ties to tag along, but the Doctor throws a Twister mat over her head and flees.

Aboard the TARDIS, the Doctor and McCormick realize that the aliens are heading for the moon of the planet, noted in the TARDIS databanks as:

Planetoid LV-426, Moon of Zeta II Reticuli
Also Known As: "Acheron", "LB-426", "The Moon of Death", "World of Horror"
Distance from Earth: 39 light years
Gravity: .86 Earth Normal
Atmosphere: primarily nitrogen and methane
Temperature: minus 182 degrees Centigrade
Surface: Geologically active, composed of igneous rock, steam vents
Easily Confused By Tourists With: Titan, Malodaar, Eastbourne
Local Population: Wiped out by Star Beasts
Native Language: None (see "Local Population")
Major Industries: None (see "Local Population")
Events: None (see "Local Population")
Culture: None (see "Local Population")
Interesting Features: Ancient Pyramid full of Star Beast embryo eggs
When to Visit: Never (see "Local Population" and "Interesting Features")

Delighted at what looks to be a fascinating holiday destination rivaled ONLY by Coney Island, the Doctor send the time machine to land so they can meet the mysterious generic aliens behind the Saigon Palace II restaurant chain. Some have thought them to be Dustbins, or Cylons from Battlestar Galactica, or maybe even the Borg, but the Doctor is certain this will prove once and for all that xenomorph star beasts - while being the ultimate parasitoid killing machines in the known skies - are incredibly good at making spring rolls and fried rice.

McCormick screams hysterically that any race whose proper Latin description translates as "murderous thieves" are not likely to welcome the time travelers with open arms. The Doctor tells McCormick she's a bigot, and assumes that just because the Star Beasts have a disturbing life cycle involving forcible impregnation of living hosts with embryos, they don't have any sort of civilization whatsoever.

OK, they tend to spend most of their time reproducing and destroying all life that could pose a threat but does that automatically mean they don't have higher goals and dreams of mastering the art of watercolour? In all probability, yes, but the Doctor insists they should be given the benefit of the doubt.

The second they leave the police box, black skeletal eyeless star beasts kidnap the two of them and drag them off into the slimy depths of the alien hive, where the twenty-foot tall Queen of the Saigon Palace II restaurant franchise sits upon her biomechanical throne and providing eggs to provide facehuggers to the captive staff of the Starbucks café and the Werner Herzog to create a new hatching of the unstoppable armor-plated alien killing machines.

The Doctor spells it out for the audience in case they've got bored, that the Star Beasts are breeding a new generation for their empire to staff new takeaway outlets and conquer the human catering industry.

The duo are brought before the Queen who turns out to be a prior companion of the Doctor. After a rather awkward chat about what they've been up to and stuff, the Queen points out that she really can't go round making exceptions since a new race of Star Beasts with two hearts and self-regenerating cell structure would be a really dumb move.

The Doctor flirts outrageously with the Queen and eventually convinces her to give him a five minute start. He and McMormick immediately flee in the TARDIS and return to the RW Fassbinder quick smart.

There, he finds the crew have found Dara such an irritating bitch they have tried to shove her head first into the warp engines, only for her cheap costume jewelry to somehow inexplicably recharge the whole ship and repair all the damage it received way back in episode one.

The Doctor discovers the RW Fassbinder carries a stockpile of anti-matter torpedoes - which is incredibly convenient since such things are illegal in every galaxy and, we discover, more expensive than a night on the town with Paris Hilton - and orders Sayle to fire them on the moon and wipe out the heart of the Saigon Palace II employee training scheme and render their expansion useless for the next financial year.

Sayle refuses as this is a complete violation of the Prime Directive, and is certain that Kirk would have found out a better way, even if Picard would have nuked them without a second thought and Janeway opened fire before even being told to do so. He's not sure what Archer would have done though...

Mark gets to his feet, calls Sayle a complete fucking retard, and fires the missiles himself. He then announces that his home time and place is full of a bunch of complete losers trying to live out Star Trek fantasies, and even travelling with the Doctor has got to be preferable than that.

The Doctor welcomes him back, mainly because travelling alone with Dara is so terrifying it does strange things to his mind.

As the TARDIS takes off, the torpedoes detonate on the explosive surface of the moon and causes a massive shockwave that destroys the RW Fassbinder, the Werner Herzog, the Franz Osten, the Marcus Nispel, the Ladislao Vajda and all the other Star Cruisers named after famous German film directors.

The Doctor watches the firestorm on the TARDIS scanner and dubs this the "Fritz-Langer effect" and muses that the war is definitely over now both sides are too knackered to keep up the conflict and the universe is safe... until the next time the Doctor arrives in this time zone.

Then he and Mark take turns in beating Dara over the head with baseball bats after she has the temerity to complain she found the whole adventure of ending a decade-long galactic war with giant insects via high explosives "boring".

Books/Other Related Material-
Doctor Who Kicks Star Trek's Sorry Butt Across The Space Ways
Doctor Who Discovers Monosodium Glutamate
All Spice, Frozen Squid Trimmings, Nitrates: Fine Food Additives And the Bloody Space Wars They Tend To Trigger

Links and References -
The Doctor wonders why Dara couldn't be as interesting as his wild-drug-using, endlessly-partying, female-biker-gang-leading, pipe-bomb wielding granddaughter.

Untelevised Misadventures -
The Doctor and McCormick had a sordid sex affair on Bondi Beach between scenes twenty two and twenty three in episode four.

Dialogue Train Wrecks

Dara: Doctor, I don't suppose next time we could go somewhere I actually get to do something?

Doctor: What?!

Dara: Well, the future's nice and all, but boring, really.

Doctor: BORING?! We are in the middle of a war zone, fighting monsters tougher than the combined military might of one hundred different planets, seeing the end of thirty years of conflict and emotional redemption of the human race and you're BORED?!

Dara: All I did was sit around, nothing to do. You never take me anywhere!

Doctor: You selfish bitch! I've taken you to two different planets, Russia, America, and now the depths of space in the 24th century! Next time, you can be the one sent to the heart of a carnivorous alien empire on a stealth mission!

Dara: Cool.

Doctor: GROW UP!!


Johnson: Those blasted aliens are very persistent.

Doctor: No shit, Sherlock.

Shipman: Let em come! I've got a sonic grenade just ACHING to make Saigon jello!

Mark: You're fooling no one, loser.

Johnson: Gah! I can't believe we're sitting on a million mergs of energy and
can't light a match cause we've got nothing to regulate the flow!

Dara: On the bright side, I'm still, like, SO hot!

Shipman: I've got a girl back home. I think I'll marry her!



Dara: Oh now where am I? Well, they could at least make these corridors a little
distinctive from one another...

Lift: Shut up, Dara!

Dara: Oh, I'm never going to find Mark! OK, Dara, think.

Lift: Little chance of that.

Dara: I know I've been here before cause I've passed by this door a million times already.

Lift: Oh, very accurate! You utter cretin!

Dara: Oh, well, that's better. Maybe this elevator will get me somewhere?

Lift: Oh wow. Like elevators are built to do anything else EXCEPT take people places?!

Dara: Talking elevators. What will they think of next?



Dara: This is so cool! Wait until I tell Michelle I've been on a spaceship!

Doctor: Dara, this is the future - what you see must be your secret.

Dara: What?!

Doctor: You can't go around telling people what the future is like, you stupid bimbo, you could end up changing history!

Dara: You mean I get to do what mere mortals only dream of doing and I can't
tell anyone?

Doctor: Yup. Your life just plain sucks.

Dara: You really know how to take the fun out of time travel, don't you, Doctor?

Doctor: "Fun"? You arrogant little tart! You think ANYONE has fun with you around the place? Just shut that flapping waste disposal chute you call a mouth for five seconds and give us all a bit of peace!

(The Doctor shoves a bag of jelly babies down her throat and she chokes.)

Dialogue Gems

Johnson: Mr. Tryhard, we need power now! I'll take ANYTHING you can give me!
BLAST IT, COMMANDER, I DON'T CARE WHAT IT TAKES! Wine it, dine it, marry it if

Mark: Sod this for a game of soldiers.

Johnson: Blast it, Tryhard, I'll have you exiled to the deepest penal mine...

Mark: Get fucked, the lot of you sci-fi loser geeks.


Mark: The TARDIS is fucking up again!

Doctor: Quick! Hand me that book over there!

Dara: "Type 40 Time Capsule Owner's Manual"?

Doctor: That's it!

Dara: Doctor, I think you should have read this beforehand!

Doctor: Why didn't YOU read it if you're so damn interested. Now... "Congratulations on your purchase of the AZ99/35D Type 40.6-1 time and relative dimension in space travel capsule. If problems should occur with temporal fuselage or should you have any complaints with artron pressurization in general, please contact our home office at Kasterborous at TARDIS/R/"

Dara: Skip a bit! Skip a bit!

Doctor: "Chapter One: So, You Want To Travel In Time? Installation... Stek deinen cop en den houten, an hashen nak den den..." Ak! It's all in French!


Doctor: Anti-Matter Bombs are outlawed by every treaty in the seventy-seven Galaxies - apparently, that is "too much power for ANYONE to have". All right, I admit, one ounce of Anti-Matter can render a planet lifeless, rip away its atmosphere, put a hole in the surface fifty miles wide, but on the plus side, the war can be ended! Civilizations made extinct in the blink of an eye! Now think! What would happen if bombs like that became conventional? Hmm? God created the universe in six days but we can top that! We can eliminate it in six seconds! Now THAT is what I call PROGRESS!

Mark: They'll shoot us for this.

Doctor: Nah, they'd only stick you in a penal colony for the rest of your life. They'll shoot ME...

Mark: I can live with that. Let's do it.

Alexei Sayle: But, Doctor, the only thing that keeps people from using weapons like that is fear of what it can do, but history shows that once you open that Pandora's Box, it's only a matter of time before its power infects and spreads! If these Anti-Matter Bombs explode, they could wipe out the very Federation we're trying to protect!

Mark: So what? This will mean an end to a war that has cost billions of lives!

Alexei Sayle: But it might start ten others because the Klingons fear that we'll use the weapon on them? Or because the Cardassians covet the power it can bring?

Doctor: The backlash against Stare Trek will extend far into the future, Captain?!

Mark: Sounds good to me, let's nuke em!

Listener Reviews

"It's great to the Saigon Palace II back again after a while of being absent from the SCADs. I've always personally liked these stories set in a world of sci-fi geeks and ruthless food industry espionage, and I have to say that Target Saigon is one of the very best, if only because I haven't listened to any of the others. At all. I'm not even sure if there ARE any others, which just makes this story all the more marvelous! FANTASTIC!!" - MLock (1996)

"Not as good as Whispers of Error or Tarrants of Time but not that bad."
- Rabid Big Finish Fan who was distinctly apathetic towards them before Paul McGann turned up the next year (1999)

"I can't really find anything to be that negative about. So I'll make some stuff up - virtually everything in the story was as near to horse excrement as makes no odds, too many explosions and loud background sound effects regularly spoiled the overall essence of the saga - assuming this drunken improvised garbage HAD an overall essence and they weren't all bullshitting it for a laugh! NOTHING worked extremely well, that is to say almost nothing and I base that entirely on the law of probability rather than any personal enjoyment I felt for this soulless rubbish. As a final comment, I think that it's safe to say that Target Saigon is definitely one of the best serials from Coburn's first season, since the rest are such rubbish that I have to fumigate my house after just THINKING of their existence. The Price of Paris was crap and all!"
- Sigrid Thornton (2003)

"Jeff Coburn's portrayal as the Doctor is brilliant... as long as we take it as read that the Doctor is speaking in a strange Chinese/Asian accent all the time. And why not? The Doctor isn't God, or Superman or Ace Rimmer, but working within limitation to do his best effort. And that happens to include performing a cod Chinamen accent. I can't think of any TV Doctor who couldn't fill Coburn's role with massive, earthshattering changes to plot, dialogue and scripting. But then, that's true of most things. Peter Davison, for example, could replace Olivier's Hamlet after an incredible amount of top-to-bottom rewriting. Maybe a little more angst over the potential repercussions of Desdemona's betrayal, after the event, maybe, perhaps with a few "Oh no, I should have realized!" or "Not now, Tegan, I'm busy!". Yes, there's not much in this story that couldn't have been changed beyond recognition on a whim to get someone else involved to do something else completely. The resolution of the play, rather like this monologue, is imperfect."
- Ewen Campion-Clarke (2005)

"This appears to be the end of the whole Star Cruiser Star Trekkie Saigon Palace story line which has been hanging around the series like a fart in a space suit, and as such is handled as well as oral hygiene at a beheading. We see some interesting characterization for the regulars - something quite different from the last fourteen years of SCADs. It's good fun for those who like Star Trek role playing games and fill their excuses for mind with space battle epics. I hate those losers. I hope they all die in agony."
- The Jeffrey Coburn Handbook (2005)

Jeffrey Coburn Speaks!

"Target Saigon was one of those space shoot-em-ups, but I think it came across quite well in the Doctor Who setting. Especially considering the fact it was on audio and made entirely of BBC sound effects. The actual bits of original material came across very well in that regard, in the sense you could hear some of it between all the bangs and crashes. It's very difficult to do this kind of story in an audio drama format, so I would have to give full marks to the effects crew for being arrogant enough to think they could bring it all around with absolutely no formal preparation or training. Those crazy guys.

And it gave Peter a chance to do what he does best, act like the only person with ANY brain cells in the entire building, the character that he is so good at portraying. I remember Sheri Devine was relegated to the background. Or was it "regulated" to the background? Anyway, this is all well and the same, since she got annoyed the crap out of everyone in Price of Paris, so I don't think anyone can complain.

Anyone SANE, that is."

Peter Hinchman Speaks!

"Target Saigon was pretty much Mark Tryhard's story. He was back in his element, Trekkies, giant insects, space battles, bollocks like that. I think it was the first time we got a good look at his character, which showed how pathetically one dimensional everyone else was.

Here was someone who's been putting up with deluded nerds pretty much all his life and there seemed to be no end to it. And he was just getting tired and wondering, 'Can it go on? Isn't there more to life that Star Trek RPGs?' But he'd have to put those thoughts to the side and get back to what he was good at: confronting everyone with the fact they were all morons.

At the end of the story, when the war is finally over and the Trekkies were all nuked, he realized that, uh, insulting technobbable-spouting idiots was all he knew! And this world that was now being fashioned, or the universe or whatever the hell it was was being fashioned, was one without Trekkies and what would he do in this new world order? So he stayed with the Doctor.

A lot of people thought that was a very interesting character twist, but then a lot of people are complete idiots. HAH! See? I still got it!"

Rumours, Slander, and Libel

After the disastrous experience producing Dork Dreams, most of the cast and crew quit the entire enterprise and went their separate ways, pretending the entire thing had not happened. Only David Segal remained with the SCADs and it took seven months to round up the protesting workers once again.

Producer Douglas Phillips was gravely disturbed - it was now three years since Jeff Coburn had become the new Doctor and they STILL hadn't finished his first season. Thus, script editor Raymond Dugong suggested they lure the cast and their extremely-hypothetical fans by giving the new Doctor another story with the Saigon Palace II restaurant chain of death!

The Saigon Palace II saga started back in 1981 with Terror of the Saigon by Thomas Himinez, a strange subterranean creature who was intensely devoted to playing "Star Raiders" on his Atari-8 gameboard. Due to a curious miss-programming of the copy of the game Himinez owned, the mysterious enemy fighters were not referred to as Cylons as they should have been, but instead dubbed 'the Saigon Palace II', the name of a popular Taiwanese restaurant.

Not even suspecting that this was a suspect and borderline psychotic in his devotion to the game, Himinez wrote a few bridging scenes with the TARDIS crew and then, playing the game in the gaps, created a whole four-episode story.

Undaunted by the lack of any critical response to it whatsoever, Himinez immediately penned a sequel Death to Saigon! which involved less dialogue and more explosions and Himinez trying to beat his top score liberating the starbases in the disputed Saigon territory. What's more, he became confused as to which science fiction show he was writing for, especially since "Star Raiders" was simply a cheap rip off of a Star Trek strategy game to start with and thus the idea of a Star Trek/Doctor Who/Saigon Palace II ongoing story arc was introduced to the SCADs with the subtlety of a brick through a wedding cake.

Himinez found this idea so rich with potential he had already written another five sequels before Death to Saigon! was finished: Curse of the Saigon, The Tub of Cute, The Penultimate Weapon, Mindmap and Terri on Terry. After guest appearing in The Tub of Cute as a one-liner delivery boy point out how fucking stupid everyone was, the character of Mark Tryhard returned in The Penultimate Weapon and spent virtually the entire story telling the Doctor and his companions that were a bunch of useless jerks who'd be first up against the wall when the revolution came. Finally, when Phillips wanted a companion which was vaguely two-dimensional, Mark was brought in as a full companion Terri on Terry.

Himinez promised that he could revitalize the SCADs and get them producing more than two stories every eighteen months with the judicious application of Saigon Palace II/Star Trek fanwank with lots of stuff ripped off from other, more impressive science fiction films. He also promised to bring Mark back into his element in a story of continual battles, killings and pointing out what utter fuckbrains everyone else were.

The story would also reveal exactly who the nasty monster behind the Saigon Palace II restaurant really were, which Phillips allowed on the condition said food empire was imminently obliterated by the story and ending the whole saga, preventing any future sequels or fucked up Star Trek crossovers. Furthermore, it would be revealed that the Star Fleet shown in these stories would simply be over-enthusiastic fanboys getting out of hand rather than genuine officers.

Himinez was heartbroken at this, but nevertheless agreed to do it. Apart from sadly singing "Swing slow, sweet chariot" over and over again and weeping into a bucket, there was no noticeable change in his character. In secret, however, Himinez was already preparing two sequels he had come up with in the last few minutes: Menace of the Saigon and Legacy of the Saigon, both penned in for production some time until the sun explodes.

Production of the story couldn't have been worse than if armed terrorists had laid siege to the recording studio and executed all involved one by one. Episode two, for example, had to be completely edited, removing everything except the opening and closing titles. The final sequences in the torpedo room did not have any script or even a director, and the cast didn't even realize what story they were supposed to be involved with, not knowing the mikes were on.

Thus a scene ostensibly featuring the Doctor and Mark storming the torpedo bay and taking everyone prisoner features dialogue like:

"Blimey, that's smooth. C'mere, feel this."

"I see what you mean, there is no friction at all."

"I reckon that magazine rack is MDF fibre board with a cedar wood finish. A definite talking point at parties, if you ask me."

"Castles can get broken you know. Moats can get burnt down, archaeological digs run over and Roman Colosseums can be kidnapped, my friend."

"Christ, that Chip Jamison bloke can't act for toffee, can he?"

Yes, Chip Jamison - a legend in his own lifetime, a being who is quite possibly the worst actor the human race has ever produced, whose staggeringly awful performances reportedly keep Richard Briers awake at night and put the fear of god into Roger Lloyd-Pack - had joined the SCADs after being mistaken for one of the regulars, drugged and dumped in the back of their van.

While Phillips was terrified of Jamison's stilted, aggressive, eye rolling performance is used for every character he got and was literally painful to the ears as he rendered any possible scene a farce, it DID mean they didn't have to use David Segal as much and so Jamison stayed beyond this story.

Little did anyone realize that Jamison would soon dominate the stories using only his appalling nasal whine, rendering the SCADs almost impossible for anyone to listen to... if there was any difference.

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