Sunday, December 6, 2009

8th Doctor - The Vengeance of Morbius (iii)

Book(s)/Other Related -
Junior Dr Who & The Brain of Junior Moby
Doctor Who: Springtime for Moby & The Singing Baboon
The Rth Doctor (pgs. 1 – 287)

Fluffs – Paul McGann seemed out of his skull for most of this story.

"Brainz! Brianz! Brainz of Moby"

"Doc-tor. We are no longer the Sisterhood of Korn... we are.. um... er... the.. The Kisterhood of Sorn! Yes, that’s it!"

Goofs –
Um, why does the CD cover have the heavily-pregnant Lucie dry-humping a giant centipede? This image doesn’t actually have anything to do with the story, and it’s not even halfway decent insect erotica (or even the not-at-all-decent insect erotica from The Credo of the Moron) that cover artists just create for their own sick pleasure. Was the cover actually a photo to blackmail Sheridan Smith about her debauched centipede-sex private life and Eddie Hitler had it released when she called his bluff?
So we’re supposed to believe that Smelly Ed WOULDN’T have thought of looking something up on Space Wikipedia without Lucie’s help?
Why the hell does the Doctor go along with the Sisters’ plans so easy? It’s not like he knows Lucie’s in danger, and if he did surely that would make him want to leave her to die all the more? And yet he doesn’t ask the Sisters to vaporize Lucie first?
What the hell happened to John Inman? How the hell can the Sisterhood of the Flame be worshiping a sacred source of elixir when they left it behind on Korn? Technically that counts as dereliction of duty! Did they finally realize how utterly disgusting it was for them to live off a substance created by an aging "Are You Being Served?" star? If so, why didn’t this happen sooner?
Why the hell did Nicholas Briggs attempt to rewrite Lust of the Time Lords, a story watched by over eight million viewers, screened across the world and on countless DVDs and box sets? It’s not like the listeners WOULDN’T recognize it, was it? Wasn’t the anal raping of Brain of Moby enough for Briggs, or has he become some kind of narratorial parasite sucking in previous stories and unable to come up with his own any more? Thank goodness, he had that accident with the Chameleon Arch and turned into David Sax, that’s all I can say...

Fashion Triumphs -
Lucie’s kinky black leather maternity overalls.

Technobabble -
The Dispersal Chamber works on the 'Alan Stevens Deconstruction' principle, breaking down all physical matter until nothing is left bar obscure subtext and a faint smell of ozone.

Links and References -
As befits a season finale it resolves the Evil Goodies story arc running through every story. As does NOT befit a season finale, it features a completely pointless and gratuitous flashback to Dead Cardiff rather than something vaguely relevant to the plot like The Brain of Moby. That would just be silly if they did something that that, wouldn’t it?

Untelevised Misadventures -
Doctor: But the Brain of Moby was destroyed, centuries ago!
Lucie: The brain? What happened to the rest of him?
Karen: Executed by the Time Lords. No one knows how the disreputable plastic surgeon Solong got hold of Moby’s living mind, unless there was a private eBay auction.
Lucie: So... who’s this Solong bloke?
Doctor: Who WAS. Just some nutcase. He wanted to create a new body for Moby’s brain. Eventually he put it into a kind of fishtank with eyes on top of a body that makes Frankenstein’s monster look like the height of chic. It all happened in a story held up as one of Doctor Who’s most gothic successes of 1976!
Lucie: Have these ladies done something to YOUR brain?
Doctor: No, no, it’s true. Everyone loves that story – Tom Baker, Lis Sladen, Phil Madoc... The DWM polls prove it’s one of the most popular ones ever! No wonder we’re in a sequel to it.
Lucie: Why is it so bleeding awful then?
Doctor: Trust me, compared to some other attempts I could mention, this is positively subtle.

Groovy DVD Extras -
Character profile of Smelly Ed, focussing on his incredible presence within Doctor Who history in particular his only other, non-speaking appearances as cameos in the Eccleston stories Ruse and The Presuming Ed, where of course Smelly Ed played the title character.

Dialogue Disasters –

No wonder Smelly Ed rarely gets any lines:
"Korn, here we come! And we solve the case of the missing Doctor!"

Bill: For one thing I’m not going to be anybody’s fucking slave. And for another thing, haven’t you forgotten the teeniest little detail that might make resurrecting Moby impossible?
Tim: No.
Bill: Yes, you have.
Tim: No, I haven’t. Just name one thing I’ve forgotten, just one!
Bill: A Time Lord body.
(long pause)

Doctor: So, wazzup wit this Goodie posse’s plan then, bee-yoch?
Karen: I beg your pardon!
Doctor: I be getting home with my downies! Respec!! [smacks his forehead] Terribly sorry. I think the fluid in my skull must have evaporated there for a brief moment. Where were we?

Dialogue Triumphs -

The amazing rationale for the Goodies’ involvement in the story arc –

Tim: So. We’ve fought a giant kitten, climbed a beanstalk, become pop singers and got to number 4 in the Top 20, got OBEs, become best-selling authors, lead the country to an economic miracle, and appeared on the Morecambe and Wise Show. What’s next?
Robot: The Goodies articles of association are that the said Goodies of No Fixed Above, Cricklewood, should Do Anything, Anywhere, Anytime. Exceptions to the above will include those occasion where there was the slightest possibility of physical pain, no chance of raking it in, or if there was anything to do. Our objects have been: one, formation of the Goodies. Two, fight giant kitten...
Bill: Skip a bit, skip a bit.
Graeme: What HAVEN’T we done?
Robot: The washing up. The shopping for the weekend. Mend the catch on the window. Tim to achieve peerage, Graeme to achieve Nobel Prize and Bill to achieve an economic miracle.
Graeme: Anything else?
Robot: Canonization of all Goodies. Make an international socko-boffo-record-breaking Goodies film blockbuster. Win Golden Rose of Monteux.
Graeme: There’s got to be SOMETHING on the list we can do!
Tim: Is that all there is?
Robot: No. There is one other option before "Goodies Split".
Tim: Which is?
Robot: Resurrect the Time Lord Moby and begin the Second Tide of Conquest across the entire known universe.
Bill: ...fair enough, then. Let’s do it.

Lucie: Doctor... you can’t just leave me. WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? You’d miss me. You can’t not ever see me again. That’d be rubbish.
Doctor: Lucie. I’m right in front of you, you self-absorbed tit.

Tim: Think of it, Billikins! Being an honorary Lord of Time! I’ve always wanted to be one of those. I’ve dreamed, for as long as I can remember, of wearing dark glasses, carrying a poodle and being rude to waiters!
Bill: You DO wear dark glasses, carry a poodle and be rude to waiters. And no one person thought you were a Time Lord then.
Tim: Oh, you have to spoil everything, don’t you?
Bill: And another thing! Cause of those dark glasses you couldn’t see a bloody thing, could you? No.
Tim: So what?
Bill: So what? So what? Didn’t you notice the way that when your starter arrived, your poodle had mysteriously vanished?
Tim: No!
Bill: Yes! Yes! That’s it, you see. The waiters cooked your poodle and served it right in front of you and you didn’t notice!
Tim: But why?! WHY!? WHY DO SUCH A THING?
Bill: Well, you were being rude to them and acting like a snobby Time Lord, that’s why. Obviously.
Tim: How could they?!
Bill: Be fair, Tim, they DID say it was "Poodle a l’orange".
Tim: ...I think I need to go to the lavatory immediately.

Doctor: Romana, listen. This isn’t the way!
Romana: Do you think we’re HAPPY about this? We’re in the middle of a Temporal Difference of Opinion, about to annihilate the Dustbin Breeding Grounds on Scaibus Prime! Do you know how embarrassing it is to go to all the trouble of creating a warcraft out of a star, making it impervious to Dustbin firepower and THEN have to call it all off?!
Doctor: The opinion polls must already dropping like stones.
Romana: To put it mildly! At least Dustbins don’t chicken out of using Obliviates for personal days!

UnQuotable Quote -
Graeme: Lucie, you are a good-for-nothing teen rat-bag.

Viewer Quotes –

"I loved the cover with foxy pregnant Lucie on it, clearly gestating Susan Foreman’s mother and solving the 45 year old mystery no one else remembers. That sort of thing appeals to us fanwank maiesiophiliacs, though God knows why they had to show her wearing CLOTHES in that unnatural-looking and compromising position with the giant bug... is that giant bug the father? Actually, now you come to mention it, WHY is there a giant bug on the cover anyway?!" - Nigel Verkoff (2008)

"I just didn’t feel like anything in this story was terribly original, or even terribly interesting. It was, however, terribly drab. Moby is resurrected, and... takes over the universe. Or something. And then the Doctor dies or something in some half-arsed Lawrence Miles pastiche. OMG YOU KILLED THE DOCTOR! YOU BASTARDS! Yeah, whatever."
– Timothy Spaull (2009)

"It feels like all bets are off as to who will get out alive and there’s a totally random end scene where someone turns up out of the blue in the TARDIS control room! It literally reminded me of those new series end-of-season epics, for some reason." – Dave Restal (2009)

"Finally this season has shifted up a gear! In as such as it’s finally OVER! Sweet onion chutney, when are they going to just stop fannying about and end a story with the first scene from Ruse? Huh? We want the Eighth Doctor dead properly! It gives us closure! Without closure life is irregular! I find this strange!" – Rabid Eccleston Fan (2008)

"Not a patch on the far superior SCADs like Revenge of Moby or Required Olympics! WE’RE BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU!!" - Thomas Himinez (2007)

"I listened to this in the bath and it was so abysmal, so terribly written by someone isolated from any form of human contact with dialogue so completely removed from reality that the wafer-thin plot and the worst music heard drove me to commit suicide. Unfortunately, I had no razor blades to hand and someone else needed the bathroom. This turgid mess nearly killed me! So, yeah, pretty average for something by Nicholas 'Oddly Visual' Briggs." – Katy January (2009)

"It was flash in the pan and the toilet wouldn’t flush!"
– Mixed Metaphor Monthly (2008)

"Now THAT was a cliffhanger. Well, not a cliffhanger. Lucie checked and he wasn’t hanging. But it was still a great end to the season. It was absolutely blinding and fantastic. Well, it was completely random and pointless. I can’t wait for the resolution for this. If there is one. It was brilliant, and strong and Lucie’s naked body was so vivid in my imagination I had to go to the gym and work off my sexual frustration and I cannot wait for the undoubtedly-awesome next series. Except, of course. I can. Erm... Chee-wet-ell Edgy-ee-oh-for for the 11th Doctor!"
– Valerie Singleton (2009)

"It was excellent up to the point anyone started talking. Shame."
- Andrew Beeblebrox (2008)

"I think the story severely missed a trick here. The season should’ve ended with Moby triumphant and then have the next season completely about the Doctor trying to stop Morby in that dark future. If anything, it would be very different to the usual Doctor Who formula and would've made much more use of Moby who just felt pathetically underused. And considering this is a character established as a brain in a jar bitching for 90 minutes, when he feels pathetically underused this is BAD, you dig?" - Miles Reid-Lobatto (2008)

Psychotic Nostalgia -
"I’m looking forward to the return of Moby far more than I ever thought I would be. I am beginning to think the secret operations the government perform on my brain as I sleep are starting to get the better of my anti-brainwashing Silenski Capsules! If you drop by and find I’m not here but there’s a frying pan hanging from the kitchen ceiling with the words 'YOU HAVE ALL BEEN BRAINWASHED' scratched into it... run. I’ve wired the apartment to explode. Best mention that. Right, time to hack off my fingers with bread knives just in case the bastards have implanted more tracking devices!"

Paul McGann Speaks!
"I was dressed like such a ponce in the movie, wasn’t I? But now, you know, I get to wear Eccleston’s leather jacket, the Time Lords are fighting the Dustbins, it’s only a matter of time before we run out of stories and I’m free. It’s up to Big Finish and the sad-acts who keep buying them. I totally abdicate responsibility. Maybe I’m dead in this one or not. Not my problem. But I thoroughly enjoyed every other story from this season, though this one was an ill-conceived, lop-sided, poorly-plotted, badly written mess. I was a bit upset about that. In fact, I’m really disappointed now... OK. The moment has passed. I’m back to not giving any sort of crap at all about Doctor Who and am off to get rat-arsed. Sam West has a lovely posh voice though, doesn’t he? I’d kill for mellifluous gravitas like that. The Voice of the History Channel. And he’s an anorak! Goes to show you never can tell."

Sheridan Smith Speaks!
"Alex Siddig as Smelly Ed was a lovely bloke. I managed to bum a fag off him the other day, so I love him like a brother. Not the brother I strangled, though. One I like. It’s a really nice relationship and hardly any murder. The big ending in Vengeance, I don’t know if it’s a cliffhanger or an ending for good. Yeah, the Doctor’s fallen to his death and Lucie’s traumatized by that for all of twelve seconds. And so you’re left thinking 'Will she stop being so bloody annoying once she’s dropped the sprog?' I don’t know myself. I hope she is. I’d love to do some more of these, since I get to have it off with Paul McGann but I don’t really care enough to check with the writers if Lucie’s still alive. It’s like, yes or no, either answer will depress me, right?"

Alexander Siddig Speaks!
"I tried very hard over the last couple of weeks to get into character as a floating pink cloud, researching it with my shrink. Course I grew up with the Pertwee years of Doctor Who, and I went out with Lalla Ward once when we were both going through a period of very low self-esteem. It’s only one rainy day’s work and it’s the one day Paul’s missing in Rome with the script editor, heckling a TV Awards ceremony. It’s a funny old world, isn’t it?"

Samuel West Speaks!
"Moby’s not up there with Lavros or Wong-Jing, but it’s better than being the Bastard. Mind you, it’s difficult to bring life to people conquering the universe. It’s so banal. But it’s good to be playing someone notorious, who makes the fans breathe in when you introduce yourself. I know that because I myself was a member of the Doctor Who Appreciation Society in my mid-teens, before I noticed girls and got myself a life. I remember having some hilarious days, taunting people by saying I had a copy of the final episode of The Tense Planet and things like that. Now of course things are so very different and I have to log onto Outpost Gallifrey and claim I’ve seen Eccleston filming in Cardiff to get comparable thrills."

Eddie Hitler Speaks!
"In this story, Nick Briggs tries to do an epic, emotional, new-series finale in the style of Russell T Davies... which shows exactly why Briggs is the puppet ruler of a forgettable audio franchise and Rusty is the BAFTA-winning most influential human being in British television alive today. Me? I’m the lucky bastard in the middle making a fat wad of cash and getting my end away with Kat Olssen!"

Trivia -
You know Lady Peinforte from "Silly Nemesis"? Well, she and Moby were screwing each other rotten according to Craig Hinton. I mean, HE’D know, wouldn’t he?

Rumors & Facts -

Who’d have thought that the best play in a season that features contributions from Mark Plate, Paul Magrs, and Eddie Hitler would come from Nicholas Briggs? Not me. And I’d be absolutely damn right.

It’s not really a brilliant end to the season. In fact, it barely counts as an end to the season at all except for the fact there weren’t any stories after it. It also has a cliffhanger ending that not only fails to rival the Doctor becoming Zig-Zag-Gay-Ass or Lavros’ armies conquering Earth or even the results of Lucie’s pregnancy test, but fails to be a cliffhanger of any recognized type whatsoever.

In tradition for the BBC7 audios, it was decided to completely rip off the latest TV series for their ideas and thus the idea of a season finale pitting the Doctor against an infamous renegade Time Lord in the past that never was of the future that cannot be was immediately commissioned right away, to be done by Eddie Hitler himself.

The recurring characters of the Magician and Ace the Headhunter would also have to be brought back for massive epic vibes (ie, distracting people from how crap the expositional lines are), and Hitler decided to do an epic sequel to the one story that no one else had. This proved impossible, so he settled for the one story whose sequel was so brain-curdlingly awful that no one would complain at them contradicting said sequel completely and utterly.

The story was The Brain of Moby and its sequel, Whoremonger by Terrance Dicks, is illegal throughout the Western World as a deeply offensive pro-rapist guidebook which begins notably with the Fifth Doctor ripping the throat out of a pterodactyl. With his teeth. As Peri becomes a hardened guerilla leader of two years of soul-destroying urban warfare against the Cybermen and Sontarans. All of this occurring between Mammaries of Fire and The Phantom of Androzani.

Of course, The Brain of Moby has always been a compelling television story with its hints at the mysterious past of the Time Lords since the series lacked the budget to SHOW any of said mysterious past. But it’s so easy to make a sequel with Moby on Korn boring with endless Gallifrey sequences and Time Lords bitching sotto voce about awful descriptions in the dialogue. Amazingly, The Vengeance of Moby avoids this completely... and STILL ends up as boring as the history of Belgian plumbing in the 13th century!

Initially, Vengeance’s plot would have sucked the marrow from the bones of Transformers: The Movie and feature Moby being resurrected inside a gigantic, planet-sized cybernetic body that eventually tripped over its own oversized feet and fell face first into a black hole.

For a while it was considered keeping Moby’s return a complete secret before everyone realized that the whacking great copyright notice to "Terrance Dicks’ Brain of Moby 1976" was a complete giveaway. Subscribers had finally noticed these uber-spoilers with Frozen Crime and its pathetic attempt to be coy about WHICH race of ice-cream-vending reptilian Martian alien bastards the story would feature.

Due to a particularly long and violent bender betwixt Hitler and McGann which took them from the Groucho’s bar to the Pink Pussycat club to an acid house rave party in Upminster to someone’s flat (which had a pink door) to the departure lounge of Heathrow Airport to Wookey Hole caves several miles underground to the Ice Tombs of the Cyberman Planet Telos and back to Big Finish via a local pub crawl, the main star of the series was completely unavailable for half the story. Thus, it was decided to focus those sequences on Lucie Miller and tell everyone this was the "Doctor-Lite Hot Chick Heavy" episode as the Welsh TV revival had been bluffing ever since 2005.

However, Hitler was left vomiting around the clock for eighteen days and more than long enough for Nicholas Briggs to emerge from the shadows and take over the task of writing the story. Long on the road to insane, by now even Briggs’ staunchest supporter (a hand puppet called Mr. Squeaky) dubbed him "completely non-functional". Further proof, if it be needed, turned up in his rewrites which confined the character of Moby to the last fifteen minutes of the last episode. Coupled with this was the fact that Lucie has no idea what’s going on and the Doctor doesn’t care, ensuring a complete lack of tension in listeners – unless making the audience sick to their back teeth with incessant Tom Baker quotes counts as creating an atmosphere of doom.

This lack of main villain logically resulted in three and half episodes of mind-numbing padding followed by a squashed five minute chase scene with lots of crossing the timelines rubbish and Moby being an evil dictator off stage followed by a denouement where Smelly Ed defeats the Evil Mime Goodies and Moby chucked himself and the Doctor off the balcony and then the Magician fixing everything with magic pixie dust, bar of course the Doctor being dead when it was so obvious he was going to regenerate in Nick Briggs.

Unfortunately, Briggs was so out of touch with reality – and had written such an ending killing off the Eighth Doctor over twelve hundred and seventeen times already – he forgot to actually add this sequence and simply automatically assumed it was there. So when the finished story ended with Ace bludgeoning Lucie unconscious with a baseball bat rather than the Nick Briggs Doctor emerging from the regenerative flux, it was actually a massive gaping plot hole and not the usual bit of script editing we expect.

Some might say this makes an episode as bold and striking as possible, turning the very tenets of the series on their head in order to shake things up a bit and confound expectations. Everyone else would call it an utterly disappointing offense to the intelligence of every listener ever and change the subject.

Ultimately, there’s little left to say. Certainly not much interesting occurred, bar the introduction of a new recurring character for the next season. Cast as occasional TV companion of the Eighth Doctor Smelly Ed was Siddig El Tahir El Fadil El Siddig El Abderahman El Mohammed Ahmed El Abdel Karim El Mahdi (or Alexander Siddig from DS9 if you can’t take the pace, plebian). However, introducing a companion remembered solely for doing sweet FA as the Eighth Doctor is killed in a hit and run lead many, not least McGann, to believe that The Vengeance of Moby would actually be the beginning of the end for the incarnation. But since there’s another season already made, this actually seems a rather vain hope now I come to mention it.

It seemed that Big Finish’s tradition of screwing up landmark releases and simultaneously failing to resolve a story arc was alive and well, with a list so long not even I am anal enough to repeat all of it, but the arse-numbingly-boring waste of time with its pathetic attempts to shock are actually WORSE than most stories featuring C’Rizz!

On the bright side, if you find the Welsh revival’s insistence on epic series finales wearying, Briggs’ completely lacklustre effort will make you appreciate RTD’s totally overblown lack of restraint. You’ll never call The Parting of the Legs, Dustbin –vs- Cybermen, Lust of the Time Lords or Journey till Dawn "inexcusably over-the-top, pompous, self-indulgent, illogical, blighted garbage" again. And if you do, I will be forced to beat you to death. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

However, when this season was actually broadcast by BBC7 they somehow completely neglected to play this story and ended with The Bygone Who Sold The World. Then began two weeks later with a repeat of The Crime of Fright-Night, then ended again. When quizzed, most listeners didn’t realize there was any different, except Lucie was slightly less annoying when voiced by India Fisher.

When quizzed, BBC7 explained they hadn’t bought The Vengeance of Moby as not only was Doctor Who not popular enough to escape them and go to Radio 4 and Big Finish should be damn grateful that ANY of their under-promoted frippery was being released to the populace AT ALL! Plus, of course, Vengeance was complete crap and relied on the audience knowing inside out a 1976 four-parter musical.

Hitler took this problems on board and everyone agreed it was best all round that the story was unreleased. Not only did this mean they didn’t have to resolve the cliffhanger, they also didn’t have to pay Briggs and could instead use the fee to hire yet another Brazilian assassin to deal with the bald toothbrush-wielding maniac.

When news reached them that Briggs had survived AGAIN, the entire production staff suffered a bout of depression so severe the proposed Christmas special episode, The Michaelmas Retcon, was canned while everyone stocked up on prozac.

During this period of chemical-induced mellowness there was an idea of a spin off series called 'Lucie and the Headhunter' having a bunch of adventures travelling through time and space looking for the Doctor between bouts of domestic violence and lesbian experimentation. Although this plan was instantly abandoned, cast and crew are adamant it would STILL be better than Touchwood.

Season 34 Round-Up -

Talk about 'difficult second album' syndrome...

Even with all the strength of continuity and the bowel-irritating return of Ace the Headhunter, this series of light, frothy, gravitas-free stories have done nothing except make a mockery of the huge Temporal Difference of Opinion concept and remind us how bloody annoying Lucie Miller can be, especially now she’s got swollen ankles and morning sickness.

Was it the lack of crashes, bangs, wallops, companion departures and gratuitous appearances from Cybermen that caused such disappointment in the audience? Was the hit-and-miss nature just more obvious this time around and this overwhelmed the freshness and innovation? Or were all the stories this year just plain crap? Does anyone REALLY care?

The overwhelmingly average revenge saga struggling to ape the format of the new series with the unfinished companion of Lucie Miller. A modern teen mum being incredibly sarcastic... and that’s about it: a crude photocopy of Charley Pollard and Rose Tyler with anything vaguely distinctive removed. Now, I want to lust after Lucie as much as I lusted for Charley, but I still don’t feel like I fancy her at all. Who’s Lucie Miller when she’s not traveling time and space? A totally annoying bitch who sounds uncannily like a duck!

Coupled with a drab collage of crassness and a psychotic desire to bring back as many old foes as they can in what we can only pray to be a cynical marketing ploy rather than a genuine desire for stories about Dustbins, Cybermen, Ice Cream Vendors, Moby, Autons, Bygones, Wirrrn, Protons, Paddington Bear, the Sorbet, the Black Guardian and even Angus fucking Goodman!!

All of this suggests that no one involved still gives a damn. Well, frankly, they never did, but the fact it’s only a problem NOW is what’s really worrying, especially with all the decent companions written out (or in Hex’s case, ignored in favor for Repeats That Should Not Be). The only thing anyone seems to care about is doing sequels to Tom Baker stories rather than being even vaguely enjoyable or thought-provoking. And if I wanted that sort of bilge, I’d listen to the SCADS!

Is this what Big Finish IS nowadays? In a position to go on a completely different path to the TV series, it instead produces a crap-fest of an imitation with badly-paced derivative scripts that feel unfinished and falling short of their full potential, if any! Mind you, that was pretty much what it was doing under Gay Russell’s guidance as well, I suppose.

From the harmlessly dire if slanderous Top Gear to the 'really neat idea at the time' Brave New World, before The Skull of Sobriety’s determined attempt to make the dullest alien society known to Doctor Who. From the comic strip on audio of Dead Cardiff to the to the flat and unengaging Grand Theft Auto. Then it all had to end up with Z-Movie sequel to a story most people try to forget, culminating a lackluster attempt to get the audience to stay awake by ripping off Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty wrestling in a homo-erotic fashion as they plunge to their most obvious and certain doom.

Something is definitely missing from these audios. I don’t know what it is, and I’m fairly sure no one else does either, or else they’ve had found it and added it to them in the first place. Truly, it’s only the fact I’m a total obsessive fan boy loser that would make me come back for next year’s excuse for output simply to keep my collection complete. But that’s not ALWAYS going to save you, Big Finish.


will return in

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